The problem is with Fibromyalgia is it looks & feels like so many other things, its symptoms are the same as so many other conditions.
Doctors don’t know what to do with it (& by default you) – Consultants range from “Crikey you are unlucky to have all this happening” to – “Ahh yes, its a flare & you won’t be able o walk for about 8 weeks, but chin up, its just a flare”…
It took 4 years to diagnose me, after being pushed from pillar to post, getting progressively iller (Is that even a word) & more & more frustrated….
I know I’m angry, Although according to my GP – Im “Depressed”.
No shit Sherlock – I have heart problems, Back problems, Hypertension, Shortness of breath, Night time fits, night sweats , Cant sleep, Fingers hurt (Im doing this using speech recognition software I bought myself), It hurts everywhere when I walk, I am sick of being sick (literally), I have diverticulitis, Fibroids, Lumps & bumps here there & everywhere, Cysts on my Ovaries, Fought & won Thyroid cancer, dents in my scull (Thanks to Calcium deficiency) , malabsorbtion issues, Pain, weakness – Oh BLAH BLAH BLAH…..
TBH, I think depression would be a very valid response! 4 years ago I was very high up in a very BIG business. I’ve always held managerial roles (mainly in male dominated industry) & this has turned me into a shuffling ghost. I say ghost because – I don’t get seen…… Not really, the real me has faded away!
Online, It looks like I have a healthy social life & am very mobile & happy – You see, online you can maintain a facade – I love that – At least I haven’t completely disappeared… I feel like daily my real self is fading away – BUT I am so thankful for Social media – Where the person behind “IamSpoonie” – The Real me can be — well ME & no one knows any different… They may just get a “sorry I cant make it” at the last minute when an event is on etc…. Whats unusual about that?
So. Here I am – Spoonie – Fighting against this poxy diagnosis & the dismissive medical profession & now finding a whole online swath of fellow “ghosts” who like me have faded away…..
Doctors fob people off because they don’t know a lot about it.
Family ignore it, because it cant be seen.
Friends don’t know about it, because you just fade from your social circles.
Your spoons get less & less daily……..
I am Spoonie – You can come along with me on my contradictory journey if you like, where my ghost fades away but my online self flourishes………….
Until …………………………Well who knows….