Fibromyalgia – What it has done to “me”

Just so relevant – Every single day
Its my daughters birthday & I feel awful

Behind The Scenes - Life as a Spoonie

Its not “in my head” the pain is real

So here’s a few words about how I feel

“Me” has been lost & “I” has faded

My “happy “My “fun” have all degraded

The “go-to” person who sorted out issues

Now cannot survive without tablets and tissues

I’m a shell, a shadow, a rambling ghost

But do you know what hurts this ghost the most?

The “looks” it gets as it moans from pains

Undisguised disbelief even though it explains.

Even worse, on days when the ghost has gone

When “I” feel like maybe, Life can go on

I know its fleeting when “Real Me” is back

As its anyone’s guess, till I am under attack

From this thing, this word, this condition from hell

That’s ripped up my life & consumed me as well

The friends I once laughed with, have all  disappeared

I don’t blame them , I’m boring , not me, just

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3 thoughts on “Fibromyalgia – What it has done to “me”

  1. you are sooo right. My MS is crazy with 53 lesions, but the thing I ignored is a bitch too. I’d love to just have one to deal with, but we don’t get to choose. All I can say is love as hard as you can and never take things for granted. I don’t know what’s causing my agony and do not really care. Whatever your name is, is neither here nor there. But there is so much agony…, your name is irrelevant. Just make it stop.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hang in there fellow spoonie! It sucks especially bad when you feel sick on days when you are expected to be happy. I was like that for my birthday this year. I felt guilty because everyone around me was trying to make my day special and expected me to be happy and enjoy myself. But I just wanted to curl up in a ball and stay in bed. One way or another, I did manage to make it through the day and find some joy in it as well. It is always a struggle to feel happy when you feel miserable, never comes easy, but I am afraid of what it would be like if I gave in and did not keep struggling.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Today is day 2 of feeling shocking! | Behind The Scenes - Life as a Spoonie

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