Feeling sorry for myself

I’m the person who constantly  gives great advice, who is the go to person for problem solving,  be it financial,  business, staff, personal, relationships etc.

I’m grounded and straight talking.
I’ve a lot of experience  in many ways,  with over a decade of self-sufficiency that made me strong and confident beyond what I already had.
However, just lately, into year 4 of this journey with Fibromyalgia, I am struggling so much with feeling sorry for myself.

Eg: watching “Say yes to the dress” used to be fun and I’d love seeing everyone on there happy and hearing about the stories of how couples met.

I’ve always been a great advocate of true love as I found mine when I was 17. Sadly we grew apart and 25 years later we divorced, but at least I had that, so it’s never been a point of contention.

However after being alone for almost 6 years now, 3 of which have been going through this pain, I find myself crying watching this program, just quiet tears, just sad for the person I once was, the person who held out hope that in her late 40’s but still being young feeling and fun, I’d find someone to spend some time with on this planet.

Now there really is no hope.

The ghost of me doesn’t go out and meet people  and won’t be doing that again 😦
Seriously  though, what’s the point, if there’s no connections?
I run charity events, I try so much to help people, I want to make life easier for people who are struggling, but I’m feeling so sad at the moment.

The ghost is winning, just bit by bit.

2 thoughts on “Feeling sorry for myself

  1. Not surprised you need to do some grieving for your old life.That grieving is part of accepting that at least for now it has gone. I know that both for me in my own life and for many of the adolescents I worked with over the years, that accepting and experiencing the painful feelings of things lost is essential in the long term to being able to carry on experiencing happier feelings.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Pingback: Today is day 2 of feeling shocking! | Behind The Scenes - Life as a Spoonie

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