When Thunder is Rumbling constantly

It’s the day after a charity football match, which was not only a 4 hour round trip away ( Thankfully my daughter drove), but was a whole afternoon of wonderful excitement ( which was an absolute delight but as always I know I will pay for it later).

So when I got home yesterday, I had about 40 minutes, where I ate, took some painkillers and drank some water… Then literally crawled on my hands and knees up the stairs to bed.

Last night was a broken night of unsatisfying, unreplenishing, uncomfortable sleep.

Today is a day of feeling sick, headache, stabbing leg pain and non stop thoughts of “this just isn’t worth it”….

And by not worth it, I not only mean the organising of fundraisers, but the whole thing.. life like this …

The constant fighting with my own body…

Simple everyday tasks like making a drink is so damn painful and so damn tricky (hands are not gripping today).

Just sitting on the sofa in one position for more than 5 minutes is ridiculously painful, then moving is even more so…

Right now – I feel so sick, I’m crying quietly but I just can’t get up to go to the bathroom as I know my legs are going to hurt like crazy..

It’s always a trade off…

Trade offs I am rapidly tiring of.

And todays blog is brought to you by the horrible depression that comes with being in abject pain whilst looking ok…

Totally debilitating, totally crushing and TOTALLY JUSTIFIED.

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