Behind The Scenes – Life as a Spoonie

The Fading Ghost (Ex Happy Soul)

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Depression

Painted on Smile

Standing in a Shopping Queue – with a painted on smile. This is my afternoon. I needed to go buy bananas for my mother who is on a care home but rapidly losing weight.. I have to top up her diet as the care for our eelderly and ill in the UK is not great…

October 3, 2019 in Allodynia, breast, Crying, Depression, Diverticulitis, Fibromyalgia, Pain.

Diverticulitis

Living with Fibromyalgia is hard… That’s a given.. But when you have the associated illnesses all clamouring at you too, life gets extremely difficult. One if the other things I have to contend with on a daily basis is Diverticulitis. Diverticula are tiny pockets which form in your digestive system. Some people have them and…

September 26, 2019 in Depression, Diverticulitis, Fibromyalgia, Hospital, Pain, Uncategorized.

Dreaming

I dont think I’m alone in this… I believe us spoonies sometimes feel this way, but can’t say anything. (Mainly because we are very guarded over what we tell people, so as not to give them another “out” for our behaviour”). Sometimes I hate waking up, I want to stay dreaming. This is not because…

September 25, 2019 in Depression, dreams, Fibromyalgia, High Functioning Depression, Pain, Uncategorized.

It’s the little thing’s…

These thing’s really hurt. (Not just physically, but emotionally and perpetually). Washing up, which becomes too painful to do .. Bending down to put washing in the machine, in front of someone, so you push your body to do it “normally” then go to the loo and cry. Speaking on the phone, absolutely fine, to…

September 24, 2019 in Crying, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Ghost, Isolation, Pain.

Battle of the Rose’s

I managed to crack my way out of bed today at 9.20 after being awake since 6.45… It was a particularly difficult morning as I need a new mattress, this one has become too soft and I sink into it, allowing my bones to get really set in a position they like… this meaning a…

September 22, 2019 in Depression, Garden, happy, High Functioning Depression, Pain, rose, Uncategorized.

What to do next

I saw this image and it hit home.. I’ve got an amazing resilient personality, ever since I was a kid, but I’m beginning to think I need to “put it down” and actually feel/act the way I really do. To that end.. writing is cathartic but its painful (my knuckles feel like they are on…

September 21, 2019 in Allodynia, Coffee, Crying, Depression, Fibromyalgia, High Functioning Depression, Pain, Uncategorized.

Stressed -DWP Compliance

I’ve been contacted by the DWP Compliance dept for info.. I know they have to check everyone, Crikey Im the first to shout “Open & Honest” on everything I do & say.. BUT It’s so stressful. Tbh I really think that the Dr’s & “specialists might be right.. When you get ill, you should just…

September 17, 2019 in Allodynia, Beta blockers, Depression, DWP, ESA, Fibromyalgia, Isolation, work.

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